1 H3art Junk Ma!l

harriet got me started on this project, writing a poem using entire subject lines of spam mail. here are her rules:

the only rule is that each line must be an actual spam subject heading in its entirety. repetition of the whole subject is permitted. [...]punctuation may be added for clarity (or what passes for clarity).

i get very little of the kind of spam that generates serendipitously lovely word combinations, so mine is many times over more pedestrian than harriet's.

lol, u just have a little little bro shanty bargepole

sorry you didn't make it.
u still angry me?
holdout, jive somnolent.
read about this
imitating
moravia. intensify pessimal raman
from mr. eli mast.
congratulations.

hey
can you come check me out,
look at this
ecclesiastic dodecahedron?

see this
interesting
afterword?

who cares?

look at this.

who cares?

[all sic]. i'll also share two of my favorite junk mail subject lines ever. the first is "viagra, it's for more than just sex." ok, what's it for exactly? increasing one's blood pressure? i would imagine marketing something directly connected to sex is pretty much the apex of the advertising job. sex is what everything else gets compared to. you're already there folks! you've already got the best tie in! i think they're only using this construction mindlessly (see entry below about what a tiresome person i can be, i mean about the inaccurate use of the word 'literally').

the other of my favorites is "go on a blind date with over 100,000 singles!" i think i've raved about this one online before. what could be a worse curse than to go on 100,000 dates, even if they weren't simultaneous? if i went on a date every day, it would take me 273 years to go on that many dates. if i lived to be a hundred years old, i'd still have to go over 4 dates per day to make it to 100,000 dates. socializing twice a week is enough to put a strain for me.

i went to gary and isabel's for a birthday dinner for gary, with kj coming as a surprise. it was lovely. i got to meet kj's squeeze too. i'm still feeling well. yay! gary and isabel have done many nice things to their townhome, and i'm feeling encouraged to do the same. first i must do some painting! that's next on my list.