homeowner needs

although i want to buy some tools for my house, this excavator is not one of them. make sure you notice the size of the cars and people right next to the machine. the scale is enormous.

i've been a bit blue lately, lonely. i think some of it is delayed/repressed frustration with the homebuying process, how hard it was and how most people do it with someone else. i have been intensely cheap since this process started, refusing to buy something at a price that i would be willing to pay if the seller weren't making so much profit. i think it's because i feel like i got such a raw deal in the homeowner process. i'm happy with the price i paid for my place, and i think it's a great home and a great investment. still, i feel that in many small ways i was undermined and misled. as a result i am especially mistrustful.

roberta and holly have separately informed me that i'm cheap (in a very supportive way, so much so that i know they must be quite serious). i know that i was raised by wolves and sometimes don't know how to provide myself with the necessities of life. i've gotten better over time. in college, julia told me about someone who wouldn't buy herself menstrual products. this kind of help is appreciated. holly and roberta convinced me that it's ok to buy a new refrigerator, that it's ok to buy a lamp, and gave me lots of other advice. i know i'm still cheap by their lights. at the same time as i try not to live like a depression baby, i'm proud of being thrifty. i do wildly detailed and extensive research before buying any product. i don't have a drawer full of string though.

today ended up being a nice day in spite of starting off blue like the last few days have been. i had a nice lunch with people from the lab. i learned a practical skill in the lab. i invited some people to go away for some unspecified future weekend, and they were excited. i interviewed two good roommate candidates. kj's coming tomorrow and we're going to a great dinner party tomorrow night. right now, things feel not so bad.