Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Transporter

I half-watched The Transporter on TV tonight. I saw it in the theater, and if I didn't apologize at the time to whoever I went with, I apologize now.

I love bad action movies. My tolerance for cheesiness is extremely high. However, what I really resent about this movie is the crappy fight scenes. There are a million reasons to hate it. For example, there's a vapid useless lead chick, but that didn't stop me from enjoying XXX. The male lead can't act well enough to even pass as himself, but that didn't stop me from enjoying The Rundown with Dwayne Douglas Johnson, aka The Rock.

Bottom line, it's hard to make an action movie that offends my sensibilities, but this movie has done it. And it was written by the guy who wrote The Professional and La Femme Nikita.

There are a couple of action conceits that I like in the movie. One is after oil has spilled in a warehouse in the middle of a fight scene. The protagonist breaks the pedals off a bicycle and uses them like cleats to keep traction. In another, he highjacks a truck and pushes the driver out. The door breaks off and the driver is on it like a sled. It rides on the road for a ways and then flies off the road like a luge.

Speaking of winter Olympics, that's something to be excited about.

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