for what seemed like an eternity, today and yesterday i've been watching the highlight (lowlight?) reels of every cringe-worthy thing in my life. mostly it's '[real or inflated] bad things i've done.' instead of commercials, i get '[real or inflated] bad things people have done to me.' it's loads of fun. and all the intellectual insight i can muster doesn't cause a break in the show. finally i got a little bit of work started and went to the gym, and that seems to have helped some. it's amazing to me how steadily that kind of mental story can chug along, and how devastating it is. i can't imagine what it's like for people who hear it more than i do. sorry for the depressing entry - i am feeling better tonight.
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